Be the Miracle

There is nothing better than sitting by the fireplace, gazing at the beautifully lit tree in your zebra print pajamas sipping a grande white chocolate mocha espresso early on Christmas morning. I just love being home!

Everyone is still asleep-- so I am taking advantage of my free time for journaling and reflecting (at last!).

We attended a Christmas party at my aunt’s house a couple nights ago. There were three major groups of people there, none of which was my typical crowd. My three year old cousin Abigail and I chose to hang out with the teenage girls. I found it amusing that I was in the same position as a toddler as she too was looking for friends.

I have been to the mall everyday for the past two weeks, and yesterday was no exception. I dragged my sister with me to shop for my brother’s Christmas present. Because I am not aware of his current collection, my sister would have been a tremendous help because she’d be able to advice whether or not he already owns anything I wanted to purchase. After an hour of searching, I resorted to a gift card.

It was interesting how much friendlier everyone is around this time of year. I managed to strike up a conversation with anyone I was in line with. People actually want to talk, even if it is simply to vent about the horrendous parking situation, or the never-ending line, or the search for the “perfect” gift. Despite the stress, everyone was still very friendly and wished me a very Merry Christmas. From Macy’s to Blockbuster, Starbucks to the gas station, everyone was absolutely jolly! Oh, what a great day!

Even work was wonderful and simply thinking about the past two weeks gives me warm fuzzies. The Be the Miracle campaign was something I had been helping with since the end of July. Simply put, I designed the wish slips containing our kid’s wishes and people have the opportunity of granting them. All the wishes were filled, but two outstanding stories make me realize the true spirit of giving.

Sisters Megan and Lauren, ages 11 and 8, normally save up their allowances to grant two kid’s wishes for the holidays. This year, however, they wanted to give much more. The two girls love to figure skate, and thus came up with Project Toy, a skate-a-thon benefiting abused children. The girls skated 276 laps total, and raised over $3,500. I had the pleasure of welcoming them when they dropped off the checks, and giving them a certificate expressing our sincerest thanks.

Also, while in the lobby, an older gentleman was thoughtfully examining the wish slips we hung on the tree. I smiled at him. I recognized him as the repairman for our kitchen appliances. He approached me inquiring details and after briefly explaining the program, he handed us a wad of cash and asked to remain anonymous. He liked the idea, but he does not have the time to shop for gifts. We thanked him, and were surprised to count over $250 in our hands. That episode gave me the chills.

May the spirit of Christmas be with you and your loved ones all through the New Year!

The Dating Talk

“Dating” has been the hot topic among my friends especially since the recent engagement of one, and others finding themselves “available”. What I find most interesting when a group of twenty-something women come together to discuss dating are the different perspectives on this one subject. Obviously, many things should be taken into account such as past experience, spiritual walk, parent’s relationship, movies seen, books read, etc.

At a slumber party this past weekend, my twenty-something friends battled sleepiness as we tried to discuss dating. Whoever looked sleepiest was grilled about their current dating life. Needless to say, I tried hard to look wide awake. We discussed age-range; how old is too old… 30? We also discussed occupation, intellectual compatibility, height differences, you name it. Provocative questions were posed: should we even entertain the idea of going out with a non-believer? Will I ever find “the one”? Ever consider online dating? Dreams about replicating a good model of marital bliss, or nightmares of being left at the altar were shared.

I think the most important thing to analyze is the purpose of dating. I think most people fall under a couple categories. There are those who date to have fun, some date to find their future mate, and others date to find themselves. Depending on the category one falls under, they would have different responses to the questions my friends and I posed.

In Boy Meets Girl, Joshua Harris promotes the idea of “courtship”. Courtship is a relationship between a man and a woman who are actively and intentionally together to consider marriage. He explains that the activities and time spent together has more purpose than mere recreation. The point of the relationship is to consider marriage. In this case, there doesn’t seem to be much room for discoveries, except for each other. This might work for people who know exactly what they are looking for in a mate and are ready for marriage. For someone as inexperienced, this would not be the most ideal situation. How can you determine if someone is “the one” if you don’t even know what you want?

I think the biggest question for Mr. Harris is, “How would we know if we are ready for marriage?” If one dates/courts in pursue of marriage, should they be at a point ready for it so that if all works out, then they do? He also discusses relying and being fully dependent on God, which I agree… but I also think God calls us to be active in our lives as well.

Some Christians depend on God to “bring the person to them.” They argue that the Bible teaches people should sit back and wait on God. Women in particular trust God enough to bring a husband to them. This is an entertaining thought to me. Wouldn’t it be nice if the man of my dreams came knocking on my door with red roses and Belgian chocolate waiting to take me on a romantic boat ride around Newport Harbor? That would be sweet! Unfortunately chances are, the only guy knocking on my door is the DHL guy, and I think he is married.

Dr. Henry Cloud is a psychologist who wrote How to Get a Date Worth Keeping. Cloud tells us to look at dating not simply as a place to find a mate, but also a place to learn, grow, experience, and serve other people. At this point in my life, I feel like I have much to learn about myself, I still need to grow in multiple areas, experience life independently (not feel incomplete because I don’t have a significant other), and serve people around me. I highly recommend this book because it is an easy read, relevant, and also humorous. He is very insightful and presents multiple practical steps. I would be curious to hear if anyone actually follows his program. I just might.

Do not fear

I am in the midst of grieving.

Though I received confirmation and blessing, I still feel a great loss. I am walking away from something good. I have been blessed by it and through it for many years. It has been a major part and has transformed my life in unimaginable ways.

Now is a time to just “be”… whatever that means. I appreciate the continued support from my mentors and peers, even though I am no longer in their sphere. But I should never be alone, for God is with me.

So do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand
-Isaiah 41:10