Planning ahead
I was never one of those girls who dreamed about getting married. I haven’t planned my wedding day, chosen flowers, centerpieces, gown, or even bridesmaids. I’ve always considered myself to be too independent and much too ambitious to settle down. I still get reminded of a comment I made at Disneyland, “I don’t plan on having children, they are simply deterrents to my career,” while observing the mothers pushing strollers around the park. I also never understood the girls who simply wanted to be housewives. I remember sharing where we see ourselves in 10-15 years and I proudly stated that I am going to be a politician or host of a national morning talk show, as a handful girls announced that they see themselves staying home and caring for the children.
But lately, I’ve felt a tug in my heart and I don’t know what to do about it.
My counselor had me verbalize my short-term and long-term goals last week. Career-wise, it sounded fine. I’m on a roll. But then she asked about marriage. “Umm, I guess that would be nice,” I replied. “But where does it fit in?” she asked. “Umm, after I become an associate, and before I am declared partner.” “When would you have kids?” she added. “After I become a partner.” Gosh, this is way too easy. “But would you have time to care for the kids once you become a partner?” Pause. I’ve considered staying home for the first five years, because current research in brain development indicates that the emotional, physical and intellectual environment that a child is exposed to in the early years of life has a profound impact on their overall well being. And because I plan on becoming a good mother, I simply cannot rely on some nanny to provide my kids what they truly deserve.
I looked her in the eye, and declared it is way too soon to be thinking about kids. I don’t even have a significant other.
But apparently, these are things one should plan for. And for someone like me who likes to plan ahead, it is a good idea to figure out some things for my future to prevent additional pain and heartache down the road.
Needless to say, I had a long drive home from my appointment. There is so much more to consider. I want to be the best at whatever I do. But at the moment, it seems quite impossible to be the best at everything, because something is bound to be dropped. I must figure out my priorities and plan accordingly. For someone as ambitious as I am, the thought of staying home to care for the children still does not appeal to me. And currently, thinking for the welfare of little people I do not have is a bit farfetched. Perhaps my mind and heart will change when it actually happens.
But lately, I’ve felt a tug in my heart and I don’t know what to do about it.
My counselor had me verbalize my short-term and long-term goals last week. Career-wise, it sounded fine. I’m on a roll. But then she asked about marriage. “Umm, I guess that would be nice,” I replied. “But where does it fit in?” she asked. “Umm, after I become an associate, and before I am declared partner.” “When would you have kids?” she added. “After I become a partner.” Gosh, this is way too easy. “But would you have time to care for the kids once you become a partner?” Pause. I’ve considered staying home for the first five years, because current research in brain development indicates that the emotional, physical and intellectual environment that a child is exposed to in the early years of life has a profound impact on their overall well being. And because I plan on becoming a good mother, I simply cannot rely on some nanny to provide my kids what they truly deserve.
I looked her in the eye, and declared it is way too soon to be thinking about kids. I don’t even have a significant other.
But apparently, these are things one should plan for. And for someone like me who likes to plan ahead, it is a good idea to figure out some things for my future to prevent additional pain and heartache down the road.
Needless to say, I had a long drive home from my appointment. There is so much more to consider. I want to be the best at whatever I do. But at the moment, it seems quite impossible to be the best at everything, because something is bound to be dropped. I must figure out my priorities and plan accordingly. For someone as ambitious as I am, the thought of staying home to care for the children still does not appeal to me. And currently, thinking for the welfare of little people I do not have is a bit farfetched. Perhaps my mind and heart will change when it actually happens.
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